Grand Prix Rejects

After one week break in five weekends, we're coming up to yet another race, this time the penultimate one in Saudi Arabia. Ugh, let's get this over with. As of the end of Brazil, the standings are neck-and-neck, so good luck to all! Who on earth knows what will happen here.

Your template as always is:

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6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Pole:
Fastest lap:
First retirement:
ROTR:
IIDOTR:
DBTMOTR:
MLP:
HFB:

There is always a point for the funniest race title you can come up with. The Minor League Premiership for this round contains Nikita Mazepin, Mick Schumacher, Yuki Tsunoda. You can also use double points at any time you like


For my predictions....let's see. I kind of hope Seb gets on the podium for maximum banter:

1. Max Verstappen
2. Lewis Hamilton
3. Sebastian Vettel
4. Sergio Pérez
5. Charles Leclerc
6. Lance Stroll
7. Carlos Sainz Jr.
8. Fernando Alonso
9. Valtteri Bottas
10. Pierre Gasly

Pole: Max Verstappen
Fastest lap: Valtteri Bottas
First retirement: Daniel Ricciardo (an anonymous exit into the pits)
ROTR: Valtteri Bottas (decided that Red Bull should win the championship and spends the whole race in 12th)
IIDOTR: Sebastian Vettel (for whatever podium banter he comes up with)
DBTMOTR: Esteban Ocon
MLP: Mick Schumacher
HFB: 3 laps

Good luck everyone!

Rob Dylan wrote:Ugh, let's get this over with.

So I'm not the only one with season fatigue, then. And it kicked in a lot earlier than this week.

And to think there was once a time where I'd have handed Sky everything they wanted in order to watch the races live, if that's what it finally came to. And yet, here I am, half-watching Channel 4's highlights with one eye on something else.

There are, of course, much more far-reaching reasons for this other than how long the season's gone on for.

"F1 Will Shine a Light on the Issues" Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Verstappen
3. Bottas
4. Pérez
5. Leclerc
6. Sainz
7. Gasly
8. Norris
9. Alonso
10. Vettel

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Pérez
First retirement: Mazepin (it's been a while, but you can do it!)
ROTR: Mazepin (it's been a while, but you can do it!)
IIDOTR: Räikkönen
DBTMOTR: Tsunoda
MLP: Tsunoda
HFB: 2

2021 Banned in Qatar Grand Prix

1. Verstappen
2. Hamilton
3. Bottas
4. Perez
5. Leclerc
6. Sainz
7. Norris
8. Alonso
9. Vettel
10. Ocon

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Mazepin
ROTR: AlphaTauri
IIDOTR: Alpine
DBTMOTR: Stroll
MLP: Tsunoda
HFB: 2 laps

2021 Fly Saudia Memorial Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Verstappen
3. Bottas
4. Perez
5. Norris
6. Leclerc
7. Sainz
8. Ocon
9. Gasly
10. Ricciardo

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Verstappen
First retirement: Perez
ROTR: Bottas/Perez/number 2 drivers
IIDOTR: Russell
DBTMOTR: Raikkonen
MLP: Tsunoda
HFB: 2 laps

The "Liberty Media managed to stoop even lower than Bernie could" GP

1. Hamilton
2. Verstappen
3. Bottas
4. Pérez
5. Leclerc
6. Norris
7. Sainz Jr.
8. Ricciardo
9. Alonso
10. Gasly

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Bottas
First retirement: Stroll
ROTR: Aston Martin
IIDOTR: Leclerc
DBTMOTR: Tsunoda
MLP: Tsunoda
HFB: 2 laps

2021 Cheddar GP

1. Hamilton
2. Verstappen
3. Bottas
4. Perez
5. Norris
6. Leclerc
7. Sainz
8. Gasly
9. Ocon
10. Vettel

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Latifi
ROTR: The Track
IIDOTR: The drivers, for not dying
DBTMOTR: Mazepin
MLP: Tsunoda
HFB: 2 laps

2021 Y'all Complain but You Lot Still Are Going to Watch, Hypocrites the Lot of You Grand Prix

1. Bottas
2. Verstappen
3. Gasly
4. Pérez
5. Sainz
6. Norris
7. Ocon
8. Leclerc
9. Latifi
10. Ricciardo

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Pérez
First retirement: Alonso
ROTR: Hamilton
IIDOTR: Latifi
DBTMOTR: Russell
MLP: Tsunoda
HFB: 1

2021 Seemingly Endless Middle Eastern Slogfest Part 2

1) Hamilton
2) Verstappen
3) Bottas
4) Gasly
5) Sainz
6) Alonso
7) Leclerc
8) Perez
9) Ocon
10) Ricciardo

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Bottas
First Retirement: Tsunoda
ROTR: Perez
IIDOTR: Alonso
DBTMOTR: Perez
MLP: Schumacher
Laps behind: 2

Please just let the season end. I'm so very tired.

1) Hamilton
2) Verstappen
3) Bottas
4) Peréz
5) Sainz
6) Alonso
7) Norris
8) Gasly
9) Vettel
10) Ricciardo

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Bottas
First Retirement: Leclerc
ROTR: Leclerc
IIDOTR: Vettel
DBTMOTR: Ocon
MLP: Tsunoda
Laps behind: 2

The Alpha Tauri Hype is Real Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Verstappen
3. Bottas
4. Perez
5. Gasly
6. Alonso
7. Tsunoda
8. Sainz
9. Ocon
10. Norris

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Raikkonen
ROTR: McLaren
IIDOTR: Alpha Tauri
DBTMOTR: Ricciardo
MLP: Tsunoda
HFB: 2 laps

2021 Saudia AREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEbian Grand Prix

1. Lewis Hamilton
2. Max Verstappen
3. Valtteri Bottas
4. Sergio Perez
5. Fernando Alonso
6. Pierre Gasly
7. Carlos Sainz
8. Charles Leclerc
9. Esteban Ocon
10. Lando Norris

Pole - Lewis Hamilton
FLap - Sergio Perez
Retirement - Daniel Ricciardo

ROTR - The track or event itself
IIDOTR - All of the drivers for not having a single red flag in the race
DBTMOTR - Daniel Ricciardo
MLP - Yuki Tsunoda
HFB - +1 lap

Street circuit without road markings Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Verstappen
3. Sainz
4. Bottas
5. Perez
6. Norris
7. Gasly
8. Alonso
9. Ocon
10. Stroll

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Perez
First retirement: Schumacher
ROTR: Mazepin
IIDOTR: Sainz
DBTMOTR: Ricciardo
MLP: Tsunoda
HFB: 0 laps

The 2021 ... oh who gives a shite anymore, seriously this season is like 4 races too long and it's going to be even longer next year Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Verstappen
4. Norris
5. Gasly
6. Perez
7. Sainz
8. Riccardo
9. Alonso
10. Vettel

Pole: Hamilton
FLAP: Gasly
First Retirement:
RotR: The track layout
IIDotR: Lack of incidents
DBTMOTR: Tsunoda
MLP: Schumacher
HFB: +2

1. Hamilton
2. Verstappen
3. Bottas
4. Sainz
5. Perez
6. Alonso
7. Norris
8. Ocon
9. Vettel
10. Gasly

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Perez
First retirement: Leclerc
ROTR: Räikkönen
IIDOTR: Sainz
DBTMOTR: Räikkönen
MLP: Tsunoda
HFB: 1 Lap

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Verstappen
4. Sainz
5. Gasly
6. Leclerc
7. Alonso
8. Tsunoda
9. Norris
10. Stroll

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Verstappen
First retirement: Russell
ROTR: Perez
IIDOTR: Tsunoda
DBTMOTR: Gio
MLP: Tsunoda
HFB: 2

2021 Saudi Arabian six camels in a line is a straight Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Verstappen
3. Bottas
4. Sainz
5. Gasly
6. Norris
7. Leclerc
8. Perez
9. Alonso (last car to actually take the chequered flag)
10. Latifi (last retiirement but still classified)

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Verstappen
First retirement: Mazepin taking out 5 cars into the first corner on cold brakes
ROTR: Circuit design causing major crashes and long safety car periods - hope I am very wrong
IIDOTR: Hamilton and Vettel for their human rights statements and actions - this is a slam dunk already
DBTMOTR: Ricciardo
MLP: Latifi
HFB: 5

2021 More Like "Bore-niche", Am I Right? Grand Prix

1. Lewis Hamilton
2. Max Verstappen
3. Sergio Pérez
4. Valtteri Bottas
5. Pierre Gasly
6. Charles Leclerc
7. Carlos Sainz
8. Lando Norris
9. Esteban Ocon
10. Fernando Alonso

Pole: Lewis Hamilton
FLap: Sergio Pérez
Retirement: Yuki Tsunoda
ROTR: The track itself
IIDOTR: Pierre Gasly
DBTMOTR: Yuki Tsunoda
MLP: Mick Schumacher
HFB: 1 lap

SPICE GIRLS ARE BANNED GP 21

1. Lewis
2. Max
3. Bottas
4. Fernando
5. Leclerc
6. Gasly
7. Ocon
8. Sainz
9. Checo
10. Norris

Pole: Lewis
Fastest lap: Bottas
First retirement: Stroll
ROTR: Number of Safety Car deploys / track design
IIDOTR: Fernando
DBTMOTR: Marzipan
MLP: Schumacher
HFB: 2 laps

Aerond wrote:SPICE GIRLS ARE BANNED GP 21

Yeah, don't want them to spice up your race, do we?!

And the results are in! After the holidays, I finally got my arse into gear to get these scores counted up. Saudi Arabia was an absolutely crazy race with a surprisingly predictable top 10, so the points totals were very high considering what we actually saw.

Results
1. Aislabie 25
2. Hermann95 21.5**
3. Aerond 21.5* **
4. RAK 21
5. Enforcer 21
6. dr-baker 20
7. IceG 19.5**
8. mario 19
9. pi314159 19
10. tommykl 18.5* ** ***
11. UncreativeUsername37 18
12. Ducktanian 18
13. Bleu 18
14. Fetzie 14.5**
15. Klon 14
16. Batty 14
17. CaptainGetz12 13
18. Rob Dylan 6

*no pole points for being late
**the track was one of the main parts of the ROTR decision, so half points.
***funniest alternative race title

In a feat of heroism, Aislabie managed an incredible run of points at Saudi! In doing so he has shot himself back up the order into the lead of the championship with one round to go. With strong rounds from all of his competitors, it is most certainly not over yet. However, what seemed to be turning into a Mario walkover in Abu Dhabi now has real potential to change the course of the championship. This is how the standings look:

Standings
1. Aislabie 330.5
2. mario 326.5
3. dr-baker 320.5
4. Enforcer 320.5
5. RAK 315
6. Ducktanian 313
7. CaptainGetz12 307
8. Fetzie 303.5
9. tommykl 294.5
10. UncreativeUsername37 293.5
11. Hermann95 290
12. Londoner 271.5
13. Klon 270.5
14. pi314159 262.5
15. Bleu 254.5
16. Aerond 254.5
17. Batty 242.5
18. Rob Dylan 233
19. IceG 217
20. Miguel98 202.5
21. Frogfoot9013 168.25
22. yannicksamlad 166
23. tBone 128
24. CarloSpace 110.5
25. You-Gee-Eee-Day 103
26. Pacific Edge 83
27. This Could Be You 60
28. takagi_for_the_win 45
29. WaffleCat 26
30. rachel1990 26
31. noiceinmydrink 23
32. Freeze-O-Kimi 17
33. Pilot 16
34. Gertrand Bachot 11
35. dj_vicious 9
36. Pieman 8
37. Spooder918 7

It's now looking like either a Mario or Aislabie championship in the works by season-end. However, who knows if somebody has a belter or a stinker, that one of the other contenders could steal it. I don't think we've ever had such a competitive season end, maybe since 2017. Good luck everyone in the final - the results will be up tomorrow

Rob Dylan wrote:Standings
1. Aislabie 330.5
2. mario 326.5
3. dr-baker 320.5
4. Enforcer 320.5

It's now looking like either a Mario or Aislabie championship in the works by season-end. However, who knows if somebody has a belter or a stinker, that one of the other contenders could steal it. I don't think we've ever had such a competitive season end, maybe since 2017. Good luck everyone in the final - the results will be up tomorrow

And I'm clinging onto the edge of the podium with a gap to 4th place of... 0 points!