Grand Prix Rejects

Bonjourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it's the French Grand Prix for 2019, and the eighth Predicament Predictions round of the season! The season is still open in terms of our contestants, and very soon I'm going to start looking up good prizes for our glorious podium. 2019 might be predictable, but at the same time, you have no excuse not to score highly in such a state. Everybody wins! Without further ado...


Here is your blank slate:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Pole:
Fastest lap:
First retirement:
Reject of the Race:
Infinite Improbability of the Race:
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race:
Minor League Premiership:
Number of Safety Cars:

There's always a point for the funniest alternative race title you guys can come up with. The candidates for Minor League Premiership are: Alexander Albon; Antonio Giovinazzi; Lando Norris; George Russell. And you are always welcome to activate double points for one round only.



My predictions as always are of things that are absolutely not going to happen:

1. Max Verstappen
2. Valtteri Bottas
3. Lewis Hamilton (incident with Vettel)
4. Sebastian Vettel
5. Charles Leclerc (even after Mercedes fluff up, Ferrari still fluff up more)
6. Lando Norris
7. Daniel Ricciardo
8. Pierre Gasly
9. Nico Hulkenberg
10. Kevin Magnussen

Pole: Lewis Hamilton
Fastest lap: Valtteri Bottas
First retirement: Carlos Sainz Jr.
ROTR: Pierre Gasly (drama at the front and the homeboy is simply just not driving fast at all)
IIDOTR: Max Verstappen (does a fantastic overtake on a Mercedes and wins)
DBTMOTR: Carlos Sainz Jr.
MLP: Lando Norris
Number of Safety Cars: 1


Good luck everyone, the deadline is the end of FP3

The “Hon, hon, hon no that’s the sound of another Renault engine failure!”
1. Sebastian Vettel (redemption for Canada)
2. Lewis Hamilton
3. Max Verstappen
4. Charles Leclerc
5. Valtteri Bottas
6. Pierre Gasly
7. Sergio Pérez
8. Daniil Kvyat
9. Carlos Sainz
10. Romain Grosjean

Pole: Lewis Hamilton
Fastest lap: Valtteri Bottas
First retirement: Nico Hülkenberg
Reject of the Race: Renault
Infinite Improbability of the Race: Sergio Pérez
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Antonio Giovinazzi
Minor League Premiership: Lando Norris
Number of Safety Cars: 1

FRA - The OK everyone, make sure there are white flags and reverse works Grand Prix.

1. Hamilton
2. Vettel
3. Verstappen
4. Leclerc
5. Bottas
6. Ricciardo
7. Perez
8. Hulkenberg
9. Raikkonen
10. Albon

Pole: Vettel
Fastest lap: Leclerc
First retirement: Grosjean
Reject Of The Race (ROTR): Williams
Infinite Improbability Drive of the Race (IIDOTR): Honda
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race (DBTMOTR): Stroll
Minor League Premiership (MLP): Albon
Number of Safety Cars (SCs): 0

(Chantez avec beaucoup de bruit)

ALLONS, ENFANTS DE LA PATRIE, LE JOUR DE GLOIRE EST ARRIVÉ!
CONTRE NOUS DE LA TYRANNIE, L'ÉTENDARD SANGLANT EST LEVÉ!
L'ÉTENDARD SANGLANT EST LEVÉ!
ENTENDEZ VOUS DANS LES CAMPAGNES, MUGIR CES FÉROCES SOLDATES?
ILS VIENNENT JUSQUE DANS VOS BRAS, ÉGORGER VOS FILS, VOS COMPAGNES!
AUX ARMES, CITOYENS! ARMEZ VOS BATAILLONS!
MARCHONS, MARCHONS, QU'UN SANG IMPUR ABREUVE NOS SILLONS!


GRAND PRIX DE GONFARON - EN MÉMOIRE D'HENRI JULIEN. VIVE LA FRANCE!

1. Gabriele "Je gagne, même quand je suis très vieux" Tarquini
2. Yannick "Quatre victoires aux 24 Heures du Mans" Dalmas
3. Philippe "J'ai mis des fusées sur mon fauteuil roulant" Streiff
4. Fabrizio "Gros cheveux, grandes dents" Barbazza
5. Roberto "Aussi, je roule avec Coloni, EuroBrun, Andrea Moda et Forti" Moreno
6. Stefan "J'ai presque, presque gagné avec Ferrari" Johansson
7. Ivan "Mamma mia, une non-qualification au Brésil avec Jordan?" Capelli
8. Joachim "Fume, fume, fume, fume, tousse, tousse, fume, fume, fume" Winkelhock
9. Pascal "L'escargot dans la voiture rayée" Fabre
10. Olivier "La chicane roulante avec un approvisionnement pour la vie de Brylcrème" Grouillard

Pole position (même qu'en anglais, quoi?): Gabriele Tarquini
Meilleur tour en course: Yannick Dalmas
Premier abandon: Olivier Grouillard (heureusement pour les autres pilotes)
Rejet de la Course: tous les équipes non-françaises
Conduite d'Improbabilité Infinie de la Course: le fauteil roulant de Philippe Streiff (avec les fusées)
Coéquipier Plus Mauvais de la Course: impossible, tous les pilotes sont parfaits!
Ligue 1, Mineure: François Guerre-Berthelot
Nombre de Voitures de Securité: même que le nombre de fois qu'il y a eu un Grand Prix sur le Circuit du Var (malheureusement...)

The "Now let's cut to Gasly for no other reason than he's French" 2019 GP

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Verstappen
4. Vettel
5. Leclerc
6. Ricciardo
7. Gasly
8. Sainz Jr.
9. Hülkenberg
10. Räikkönen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Bottas
First retirement: Stroll
Reject of the Race: Vettel
Infinite Improbability of the Race: Raikkonen
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Gasly
Minor League Premiership: Russell
Number of Safety Cars: 1

1. Bottas
2. Hamilton
3. Vettel
4. Leclerc
5. Verstappen
6. Gasly
7. Hülkenberg
8. Sainz Jr.
9. Ricciardo
10. Magnussen

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Hamilton
First retirement: Grosjean
Reject of the Race: Grosjean
Infinite Improbability of the Race: Will Smith
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Grosjean
Minor League Premiership: Albon
Number of Safety Cars: 0

Back to Reality GP
1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Vettel
4. Leclerc
5. Verstappen
6. Sainz
7. Norris
8. Gasly
9. Hülkenberg
10. Ricciardo

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Bottas
First retirement: none
Reject of the Race: Toro Rosso
Infinite Improbability of the Race: Albon
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Gasly
Minor League Premiership: Norris
Number of Safety Cars: 1

2019 "This Should be the Pre-Season Test Track" Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Vettel
4. Leclerc
5. Verstappen
6. Gasly
7. Ricciardo
8. Sainz Jr.
9. Hulkenberg
10. Kvyat

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Verstappen
First retirement: Giovinazzi
Reject of the Race: The Race Itself/Apathy
Infinite Improbability of the Race: Ricciardo
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Giovinazzi
Minor League Premiership: Norris
Number of Safety Cars: 0

2019 Grand Prix de Solution de Piste 1C-V2
1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Leclerc
4. Vettel
5. Verstappen
6. Ricciardo
7. Gasly
8. Sainz.
9. Norris
10. Giovinazzi

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Verstappen
First retirement: Hulkenberg
Reject of the Race: Grosjean
Infinite Improbability of the Race: Giovinazzi
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Hulkenberg
Minor League Premiership: Norris
Number of Safety Cars: 0

The Wavy Gravy Grand Prix of the Mediterranean

1. Lewis Hamilton
2. Valtteri Bottas
3. Max Verstappen
4. Sebastian Vettel
5. Charles Leclerc
6. Pierre Gasly
7. Daniel Ricciardo
8. Nico Hulkenberg
9. Carlos Sainz
10. Lando Norris

Pole: Lewis Hamilton
Fastest lap: Valtteri Bottas
First retirement: Daniil Kvyat
ROTR: Lance Stroll
IIDOTR: George Russell ( beats a non-Williams)
DBTMOTR: Lance Stroll
MLP: Lando Norris
Number of Safety Cars: zero

2019 Le Grand Prix des voitures rapides

1) Hamilton
2) Bottas
3) Vettel
4) Verstappen
5) Leclerc
6) Sainz
7) Gasly
8) Norris
9) Ricciardo
10) Raikkonen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Verstappen
First Retirement: Kubica
ROTR: Grosjean
IIDOTR: McLaren
DBTMOTR: Hulkenberg
MLP: Norris
SCs: 0

2019 Embouteillage de France

1. Hamilton
2. Vettel
3. Bottas
4. Leclerc
5. Verstappen
6. Norris
7. Gasly
8. Hülkenberg
9. Ricciardo
10. Sainz

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Lerclerc
First Retirement: Albon
ROTR: Alfa Romeo
IIDOTR: Norris
DBTMOTR: Stroll
MLP: Norris
SCs: 1

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Leclerc
4. Verstappen
5. Vettel
6. Norris
7. Gasly
8. Sainz Jr
9. Ricciardo
10. Magnussen

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Bottas
First retirement: Grosjean
ROTR: The mess at Ferrari over the Vettel penalty in Canada - the team has been embarrassed in their efforts to get the penalty overturned, and the team strikes me as being in an overly agitated state where either they or their drivers will make a mistake.
IIDOTR: Norris
DBTMOTR: Grosjean
MLP: Norris
Number of Safety Cars: 0

2019 Grand Prix de Egalité, Fraternité, Mediocrité

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Vettel
4. Verstappen
5. Leclerc
6. Sainz
7. Gasly
8. Ricciardo
9. Hulkenberg
10. Grosjean

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest lap: Gasly
First retirement: Giovinazzi
Reject of the Race: something track configuration related
Infinite Improbability of the Race: Sainz
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Gasly
Minor League Premiership: Albon
Number of Safety Cars: Nein, nine, nein!

2019 Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant Garde, Deja vu, Croissant, Soufflé, Escargot and Chocolate mousse Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Vettel
3. Leclerc
4. Bottas
5. Verstappen
6. Gasly
7. Ricciardo
8. Raikkonnen
9. Norris
10. Hulkenberg

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Gasly
First Retirement: Stroll
ROTR: Toro Rosso
IIDOTR: Ricciardo
DBTMOTR: Giovinnazi
MLP: Norris
SCs: 0

2019 "blue swirlys don't give people migraine when we pan over them do they?" Grand Prix

1. Hamilton
2. Bottas
3. Leclerc
4. Vettel
5. Verstappen
6. Gasly
7. Ricciardo
8. Raikkonnen
9. Norris
10. Sainz

Pole: Hamilton
Fastest Lap: Gasly
First Retirement: Stroll
ROTR: the track
IIDOTR: Ricciardo
DBTMOTR: Kubica
MLP: Norris
SCs: 0

2019 White Flags Are Waving Grand Prix
1. Lewis Hamilton
2. Sebastian Vettel
3. Charles Leclerc
4. Max Verstappen
5. Valtteri Bottas
6. Pierre Gasly
7. Romain Grosjean
8. Kevin Magnussen
9. Kimi Raikkonen
10. Carlos Sainz Jr

Pole: Lewis Hamilton
Fastest lap: Sebastian Vettel
First retirement: Daniel Ricciardo
Reject of the Race: Renault
Infinite Improbability of the Race: The rest of France
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Antonio Giovinazzi
Minor League Premiership: Lando Norris
Number of Safety Cars: The number of safety cars that there will be in the race

2019 French Grand Prix

1. Bottas
2. Leclerc
3. Hamilton
4. Vettel
5. Ricciardo
6. Gasly
7. Hülkenberg
8. Kvyat
9. Sainz Jr.
10. Norris

Pole: Bottas
Fastest lap: Leclerc
First retirement: Raikkonen
Reject of the Race: Haas
Infinite Improbability of the Race: Sainz Jr. (to be exact, I expect him to recover from a bad qualifying)
Deadbeat Teammate of the Race: Stroll
Minor League Premiership: Norris
Number of Safety Cars: 2

In one of the highest scoring rounds I've ever been witness to, we have a winner in mario, who earned a massive 27 out of the possible 41 points in a single round. Correctly guessing the entire top five in order, the 2017 champion has jumped up the standings. Not to say that other participants didn't score highly - just look at those results! Not to take away from others' results; good job everyone. Here are the results:


Results
1. mario 27
2. RAK 24
3. Aguvazk 23
- Fetzie 23
5. CaptainGetz12 22
6. yannicksamlad 21
7. dr-baker 20.67*
8. UncreativeUsername37 20
- Bleu 20
- Gertrand Bachot 20
11. tommykl 19
12. Rob Dylan 18
13. You-Gee-Eee-Day 17
14. ElBerto 15
- Psyclepath 15*
16. FortiWinks 11
- CarloSpace 11
18. dinizintheoven 1**
*got a point for saying Sainz in IIDOTR.
**funniest alternative race title. Good job, keep it up!




So our championship leader dr-baker keeps his lead in the championship, though that lead has diminished somewhat. His closest contender ElBerto had a middling result in comparison, whilst our Predicament Predictions champions of recent years all catch up quickly with the front.

Standings
1. dr-baker 134.17
2. ElBerto 127
3. RAK 122
4. tommykl 115
5. mario 111
6. Gertrand Bachot 110
7. Fetzie 104
8. Rob Dylan 100
9. Aguvazk 97
10. You-Gee-Eee-Day 95
11. CaptainGetz12 94
12. Bleu 91
13. UncreativeUsername37 89
14. yannicksamlad 72
15. CarloSpace 69
16. FortiWinks 65
17. AdrianBelmonte_ 60
18. Enforcer 51
19. This Could Be You 35
20. Psyclepath 19
21. Klon 19
22. Pacific 777 19
23. pi314159 15
24. golic_2004 13
25. Faustus 11
26. dinizintheoven 1

I'll get the Austrian results up soon

What's my 1/3 point for?

My goodness you are correct. You said "nein" safety cars twice and "nine" once, so I should have given you 0.67 points for that. I will change the stats accordingly.