Schumacher and Coulthard - A Love Story

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 20 Jun 2013, 10:03

"Ach David, you smell lovely today"

"Ze team vants me to test some new parts but if its OK I might just sit here and look at you for a bit longer"

"Oh David, you are so funny. Do that impression of Ralf again"

"Nein, I cannot wait 78 laps I must haf you NOW!"

Aerospeed · Post by **Aerospeed** » 20 Jun 2013, 15:02

?????

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 20 Jun 2013, 16:01

Sorry, I was bored at work.

Compelling tho aint it?

takagi_for_the_win · Post by **takagi_for_the_win** » 20 Jun 2013, 17:10

Brilliant. Just brilliant

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 20 Jun 2013, 20:58

Disturbing. Just disturbing...

AdrianSutil · Post by **AdrianSutil** » 20 Jun 2013, 22:26

They always did get on quite well. Not best mates by far (Belgium 98 anyone?), but it was certainly a better relationship than Hakkinen-Irvine or even Coulthard-Irvine.

Schumi and Coulthard have often done interviews together in the last few years too.

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 21 Jun 2013, 08:54

"Look, its not a deal-breaker Im just saying that if you could do a Scottish accent our down time could be alot more interesting"

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 21 Jun 2013, 08:57

"Ye feel that? Its broken, and you broke it!"

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 21 Jun 2013, 10:25

Now we know the 'real' reason why M Schumi came back to F1 following his 2006 retirement. Because he was missing DC.

James1978 · Post by **James1978** » 21 Jun 2013, 12:36

Maybe they were trying to both get in the same car together at Spa 98. :lol:

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 21 Jun 2013, 17:04

Did someone say Love Story?

takagi_for_the_win · Post by **takagi_for_the_win** » 21 Jun 2013, 23:18

Have to say, I'm in stiches :lol:

Easily the best thread I've seen in a while

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 22 Jun 2013, 15:49

"Its time to move ont wit your life now David, he's not worth it. And whats this about you crying down the phone to Herbie Blash? You KNOW he doesnt need that kind of pressure at the moment, he's got a labradoodle expecting puppies any day now!"

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 24 Jun 2013, 07:49

"Look, I vanted to say Im sorry, I miss you and...hot bratwurst, your chest, I cannot stop staring at it! I vant to pour Bitburger all ovah it!"

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 24 Jun 2013, 07:52

"That looks like a nice qviet spot, pull over and we can make up properly"

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 24 Jun 2013, 07:54

"Can I just stop you there big boy, I dont vant the excuses, you look at my little Scottish love haggis again and I take you down"

James1978 · Post by **James1978** » 24 Jun 2013, 11:48

This thread is spooky.

But it reminds me of something I often thought in 1995: Coulthard (probably by accident) seemed to be doing more to help Schumacher in the championship instead of his teammate Hill!! (Wheareas Hill and Herbert would also have been a good pairing in my book - Hill was obviously trying to help Herbert win races by removing Schumacher to allow Herbert to win - not once but twice!!) :lol:

TomWazzleshaw · Post by **TomWazzleshaw** » 24 Jun 2013, 11:51

James1978 wrote:This thread is spooky.

But it reminds me of something I often thought in 1995: Coulthard (probably by multiple embarrassing accidents) seemed to be doing more to help Schumacher in the championship instead of his teammate Hill!! (Wheareas Hill and Herbert would also have been a good pairing in my book - Hill was obviously trying to help Herbert win races by removing Schumacher to allow Herbert to win - not once but twice!!)

Let me fix that for you

Jocke1 · Post by **Jocke1** » 24 Jun 2013, 19:53

One beautiful night in Scotland in September 2012, MS is holding a surprise party in a huge VIP tent for DC and friends. The air is crispy cold and the mood is perfect for songs and joyfulness all around.
During the wee hours of the night, MS decides to interrupt the festivities by announcing something to the assembled very important guests:

"Hello fellow human beingz. I am Michael Schumacher, I'm kind off a geniuz.
I'm glad zo many off you could make it here zis beautiful day. As mozt off you know, I love that man in ze crowd wiz ze big chin wearing a McLaren shirt.
Hiz name iz DC, and I would wery much like to zing zis zelf-compozed zong for him, here goez":

http://youtu.be/qit_HikDGxU
I love you because you understand DC
Every single thing I try to do
You’re always there to lend a helping hand DC
I love you most of all because you’re you

No matter what the paddock may say about me
I know your love will always see me through
I love you for the way you never doubt me, But most of all I love you
cause you're you

I love you because my car is lighter
Every time You're racing by my side
I love you because the future’s brighter
The door to happiness you opened wide

No matter what may be the style or season
I know your love will always see me through
I love you for a hundred thousand reasons
But most of all I love you ‘cause you’re you
______________________________________________________

DC is flabbergasted at Michael's sincere tribute love song. He is already a bit tipsy and can't find his words at first.
But then he gets himself sorted and tells Michael what he really feels deep down inside his Scottish guts.
He also takes the opportunity to let loose on some poor bloke who has also been eyeing MS the entire night from across the tent:

"Oh, Michael, ah ya bastart. Ya beauty!
You is pure gettin' the boaby the night!!
Ahm gantin for a shag!
You're gettin yer hole the nite fur definite!
Yer farts are honkin by the way.

I'm giving my current bird the boot, 'cause it's you I've always secretly wanted.

Cummoan, my Breeks are all wet after hearing your angelic voice.
I have a Hotell in Monaco, ya know. And if ya don't do as I say, I am gonnae chib ye ya wee *unt.

You over there, don't be dafty. Michael's mine ya hear! So shut yer geggy.
I'll sick little Nessie on yer bum!
You're a pure goon, man. I have relatives in Embra and Glesga, ya know. Be careful or I'll glass ya worse than Sutil glassed that Lux fella.
Ya little fanny!

Oi Michael! Ya German dunderheed, ho, here fannybawz, geez a chip. Stap yer havering!
The bed in ma hoose is huge."

And MS & DC went home together, and lived happily ever after....

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 25 Jun 2013, 05:52

Great stuff as ever Jocke1.

Just wondering what on earth would their love child look like. What with M Schumi's chin, and DC's square jaw?

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 25 Jun 2013, 07:44

"Och man, ye blew my mind last night. I could barely hold the steering wheel!"

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 25 Jun 2013, 07:47

"By ze vay, dont think I didnt notice the way you were looking at Mika bending over."

"Och, I was just-"

"Nein"

"But I only-"

"NEIN!"

Jocke1 · Post by **Jocke1** » 25 Jun 2013, 18:01

ibsey wrote::lol: Great stuff as ever Jocke1.

Just wondering what on earth would their love child look like. What with M Schumi's chin, and DC's square jaw?

Post by **Ataxia** » 25 Jun 2013, 20:09

CoopsII wrote:
"Ach David, you smell lovely today"

"Ah, David, vatch zis! I am practising for our little...bagpipe lesson later zis evening"

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 26 Jun 2013, 07:35

Ataxia wrote:"Ah, David, vatch zis! I am practising for our little...bagpipe lesson later zis evening"

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 26 Jun 2013, 09:27

"Ok, so thats a firm 'Nein' on the wee post-race threesome then..."

dinizintheoven · Post by **dinizintheoven** » 26 Jun 2013, 15:28

Jocke1 wrote:DC is flabbergasted at Michael's sincere tribute love song. He is already a bit tipsy and can't find his words at first.

Observed in its natural habitat, the hand of DC is grabbing the first of several doses of his favourite rocket fuel. And by the end of the night it had all gone and this happened...

Jocke1 wrote:"Oh, Michael, ah ya bastart. Ya beauty!
You is pure gettin' the boaby the night!!
Ahm gantin for a shag!
You're gettin yer hole the nite fur definite!
Yer farts are honkin by the way.

I'm giving my current bird the boot, 'cause it's you I've always secretly wanted.

Cummoan, my Breeks are all wet after hearing your angelic voice.
I have a Hotell in Monaco, ya know. And if ya don't do as I say, I am gonnae chib ye ya wee *unt.

You over there, don't be dafty. Michael's mine ya hear! So shut yer geggy.
I'll sick little Nessie on yer bum!
You're a pure goon, man. I have relatives in Embra and Glesga, ya know. Be careful or I'll glass ya worse than Sutil glassed that Lux fella.
Ya little fanny!

Oi Michael! Ya German dunderheed, ho, here fannybawz, geez a chip. Stap yer havering!
The bed in ma hoose is huge."

The next morning:

go_Rubens · Post by **go_Rubens** » 26 Jun 2013, 15:36

This thread is kinda epic, but fairly disturbing, to say the least.

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 26 Jun 2013, 22:14

go_Rubens wrote:This thread is kinda epic, but extremely disturbing, to say the least.

Fixed...

Nessafox · Post by **Nessafox** » 26 Jun 2013, 23:18

I could start a thread 'F1 reject themed porn movies' but then again, this is a family forum. But i'm sure some people will have some strange fantasies right now :lol:

go_Rubens · Post by **go_Rubens** » 26 Jun 2013, 23:27

This wrote:I could start a thread 'F1 reject themed porn movies' but then again, this is a "family forum." But i'm sure some people will have some strange fantasies right now

Let me fix that for you!

Seriously, some of the crap that happens here is not family friendly. They might as well divide the forum so that family friendly stuff is in one section while not so family friendly stuff be thrown somewhere else. Hopefully this doesn't happen.

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 26 Jun 2013, 23:30

This wrote:I could start a thread 'F1 reject themed porn movies' but then again, this is a family forum. But i'm sure some people will have some strange fantasies right now

Family forum indeed, some people can be so dirty minded at times. :roll:

go_Rubens · Post by **go_Rubens** » 27 Jun 2013, 00:49

FullMetalJack wrote:
This wrote:I could start a thread 'F1 reject themed porn movies' but then again, this is a family forum. But i'm sure some people will have some strange fantasies right now

Family forum indeed, some people can be so dirty minded at times.

I tried to sum that up. Did you see Klon's post in the Silverstone YDT lineup before it was edited? I overreacted, I guess, but that was absurd. I'm also not certain as to why he is allowed to have the avatar he has.

Salamander · Post by **Salamander** » 27 Jun 2013, 00:52

go_Rubens wrote:I'm also not certain as to why he is allowed to have the avatar he has.

... *sigh*

If you're offended by that, I don't think the internet is a place you should be.

Post by **kevinbotz** » 27 Jun 2013, 01:45

go_Rubens wrote:
This wrote:I could start a thread 'F1 reject themed porn movies' but then again, this is a "family forum." But i'm sure some people will have some strange fantasies right now

Let me fix that for you!

Seriously, some of the crap that happens here is not family friendly. They might as well divide the forum so that family friendly stuff is in one section while not so family friendly stuff be thrown somewhere else. Hopefully this doesn't happen.

I didn't know you were an officer of the morality police.

I see absolutely no reason as to why you'd find it necessary to make multiple posts castigating Klon for what was nothing more than a minor indiscretion, apart from generating histrionics and acrimony. Removing the incriminating material would've taken nothing more than a simple reminder, nothing less, nothing more. If you truly are so mortified by the possibility of encountering the pernicious and insidious influence of a curse word on the internet, maybe the administrators should create a special section of the forums for you, perfectly insulated from the rest of the world.

I'm probably coming across as being extremely malicious and vindictive right now. If you're offended, I'm sorry. But please, lay off the piety and appreciate the fact that this forum and its members are, by and large, extraordinarily disciplined relative to the rest of the internet. People are allowed to make mistakes from time to time, contrary to popular belief, and when they do, it's not always especially necessary inflate it completely out of proportion.

go_Rubens · Post by **go_Rubens** » 27 Jun 2013, 02:57

BlindCaveSalamander wrote:
go_Rubens wrote:I'm also not certain as to why he is allowed to have the avatar he has.

... *sigh*

If you're offended by that, I don't think the internet is a place you should be.

Sadly enough, part of my life revolves around here. Although that may be an understatement. I apologize to those offended. My reaction to Klon was quite an overreaction.

kevinbotz, I have to agree on that now, although as you mentioned, you were malicious and vindictive.

CoopsII · Post by **CoopsII** » 27 Jun 2013, 06:41

"Guys, please dont argue round here. Das thread is a sanctuary of love, our tight t-shirted love"

"Aye, I cannae get a stiffy wi all this bickering goin' on"

pasta_maldonado · Post by **pasta_maldonado** » 27 Jun 2013, 08:52

go_Rubens wrote:
BlindCaveSalamander wrote:
go_Rubens wrote:I'm also not certain as to why he is allowed to have the avatar he has.

... *sigh*

If you're offended by that, I don't think the internet is a place you should be.

Sadly enough, part of my life revolves around here. Although that may be an understatement. I apologize to those offended. My reaction to Klon was quite an overreaction.

kevinbotz, I have to agree on that now, although as you mentioned, you were malicious and vindictive.

Now, I know some members are as young as about 14/15 years old, but nowadays that is an age you do not reach without hearing a fair few swear words. Go_rubens, I appreciate that you don't want people using inappropriate language and all the rest of it, and there is no offence meant here but do you react with the same disgust when a friend swears to you in conversation or makes a rude remark? I don't think you do.

Although this is a family forum, that to me means no excessive violence, pornography, etc. Occasional minor cursing, like the image Klon posted, is acceptable and is not overstepping the mark, unless someone was to take actual offence.To be perfectly honest, if you are to young to hear swear words and other related language then you are too young to be on the Internet at all.

To put this simply: If you want to swear, ensure it is funny before posting, and even then think twice about wether it's really necessary. And for those here who don't want to swear but read others swearing and making innuendos and such, just ignore it., or if its particularly bad, a gentle reminder. Can we a massive arguments each time someone swears or posts a funny image, because it is futile and pointless. Thank you

dinizintheoven · Post by **dinizintheoven** » 27 Jun 2013, 10:42

This wrote:I could start a thread 'F1 reject themed porn movies' but then again, this is a family forum. But i'm sure some people will have some strange fantasies right now

I had very naughty dreams about Natascha Gachnang once. Does that count?

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 27 Jun 2013, 11:24

dinizintheoven wrote:
This wrote:I could start a thread 'F1 reject themed porn movies' but then again, this is a family forum. But i'm sure some people will have some strange fantasies right now

I had very naughty dreams about Natascha Gachnang once. Does that count?

Surely that would need to go in the "F1 Dreams" thread?