Grand Prix Rejects

Posted: **16 Oct 2009, 22:54**

I've got one, it was about my football team but i've renamed it.

Nick Heidfeld got a call from a dog food company requesting to sponsor Nick for the next few years. Nick thought about it for a moment and said to himself, Winalot, they must be taking the piss.

Let's hear them.

Posted: **17 Oct 2009, 00:58**

Andrea Moda.

Posted: **17 Oct 2009, 04:57**

Whats the difference between a golf ball and an Andrea Moda?
You can easily drive a golf ball more than 18 meters.

Posted: **17 Oct 2009, 08:28**

Whats the difference between a bus driver and Jack Villeneuve?
One is a highly skilled professional driver, the other is in F1.

Posted: **17 Oct 2009, 09:53**

One my dad told years and years ago.

Two boys are in hospital in a coma. The first boy is a huge Nigel Mansell fan, so his mother arranges for Nigel to record a special message for him to try and bring him out of the coma. Nigel kindly obliges and sends back a tape. The mother sets the tape going and waits for a flicker of activity from her son.
"Hi Gavin, this is Nigel Mansell," says the voice on the tape, "and I'm going to be spending the next 90 minutes reading you stories and telling you jokes..."
At which point, the second boy wakes up, leaps out of bed, and switches the tape off.

(I think my dad's delivery was better).

Another favourite of my pop's:

"Who won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship?"
"Lauda."
"I SAID..."

Posted: **17 Oct 2009, 20:37**

fjackdaw wrote:Another favourite of my pop's:

"Who won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship?"
"Lauda."
"I SAID..."

That one cracked me up.

Posted: **17 Oct 2009, 20:42**

HWNSNBM Facts has a load of Chuck Norris jokes made relevant to F1. Signature making heaven, that thread.

Posted: **17 Oct 2009, 22:14**

redbulljack14 wrote:
fjackdaw wrote:Another favourite of my pop's:

"Who won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship?"
"Lauda."
"I SAID..."

That one cracked me up.

What? Lauda won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship.
lol.

Posted: **17 Oct 2009, 23:23**

kostas22 wrote:
redbulljack14 wrote:
fjackdaw wrote:Another favourite of my pop's:

"Who won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship?"
"Lauda."
"I SAID..."

That one cracked me up.

What? Lauda won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship.
lol.

It's a pun on Lauda/Louder

Posted: **18 Oct 2009, 09:58**

fjackdaw wrote:It's a pun on Lauda/Louder

My rebound joke was crap anyway. I got it. Moving on...

Posted: **18 Oct 2009, 10:15**

not sure if this is too good, but I'll give it a go. It's quite a long one though:

Two drivers for a backmarker team are sitting in the garage. There's ten minutes left of qualifying, and they're currently 24th and 25th in the charts, but know that they'll drop down soon. Knowing that he went as fast as possible, the first driver decided against going out for one last run, to save his car for the next race. The second driver, a little more optimistic, gets back in the car and heads down the pitlane for a last ditch effort.

Ten minutes later, quali has ended, and their times of got them through on the last row of the grid. The first driver is still staring at the timesheets when his team-mate walks back in.

"How the hell did that happen?" the first driver asks as he comes back to his senses. The second driver smiles.

"Did you see me going out of the pits?" he asks.

"Yes." The second driver points at the driver in 28th, a driver in a much faster car who's time was a banker lap.

"He didn't," and the first driver looks over his shoulder, to see that the rear wing on his team-mate's car is gone.

Posted: **18 Oct 2009, 11:31**

Ben Gilbert wrote:not sure if this is too good, but I'll give it a go. It's quite a long one though:

Two drivers for a backmarker team are sitting in the garage. There's ten minutes left of qualifying, and they're currently 24th and 25th in the charts, but know that they'll drop down soon. Knowing that he went as fast as possible, the first driver decided against going out for one last run, to save his car for the next race. The second driver, a little more optimistic, gets back in the car and heads down the pitlane for a last ditch effort.

Ten minutes later, quali has ended, and their times of got them through on the last row of the grid. The first driver is still staring at the timesheets when his team-mate walks back in.

"How the hell did that happen?" the first driver asks as he comes back to his senses. The second driver smiles.

"Did you see me going out of the pits?" he asks.

"Yes." The second driver points at the driver in 28th, a driver in a much faster car who's time was a banker lap.

"He didn't," and the first driver looks over his shoulder, to see that the rear wing on his team-mate's car is gone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yl3UMO-TkE

Posted: **18 Oct 2009, 15:09**

Why did Buemi and Alguersari retire from the Singapore GP?

Because it was past their bed time.

Posted: **18 Oct 2009, 15:18**

Overtaking Working Group - and that's all I have to say.

Posted: **18 Oct 2009, 18:57**

Shadaza wrote:Why did Buemi and Alguersari retire from the Singapore GP?

Because it was past their bed time.

LMAO, that was a good one.

Posted: **18 Oct 2009, 19:14**

fjackdaw wrote:"Who won the 1977 Formula 1 Championship?"
"Lauda."
"I SAID..."

That was just brilliant. Proper lough-out-loud stuff. :lol:

Posted: **20 Oct 2009, 16:15**

OK, here I go...

What do Andrea de Cesaris and a demolition company have in common?
(Apart of destroying things)They both have big balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C'mon, please laugh!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: **20 Oct 2009, 23:19**

What do a lorry on the A1* and Grosjean have in common?

*British readers understand!

One has to contend with bumper-to-bumper-traffic, the other is slow!

Posted: **21 Oct 2009, 10:32**

Once upon a time, David Coulthard and Michael Schumacher went on a Safari trip to Africa. Dusk was upon them, so they decided to set up the tents, and they both went to sleep. In the middle of the night, DC hears a strange noise that puts him out of sleep. He stares out of the tent to see that Michael is chased by a raging lion around his tent. DC screams at him:

Hey Michael, why don't you climb up that tree behind your tent? The lion can't catch you there.

And Michael replies:

Don't worry David, I'm three laps in front of him...

Posted: **21 Oct 2009, 17:09**

Thunderer wrote:What do a lorry on the A1* and Grosjean have in common?

*British readers understand!

One has to contend with bumper-to-bumper-traffic, the other is slow!

Shouldn't that be the M25?

Posted: **22 Oct 2009, 21:11**

Well, a less funny one.

What's the difference between Rubens Barrichello and The Simpsons?
- Rubens Barrichello was still good in his 17th season.

Posted: **23 Oct 2009, 09:39**

Klon wrote:Well, a less funny one.

What's the difference between Rubens Barrichello and The Simpsons?
- Rubens Barrichello was still good in his 17th season.

But it is damn true.

Posted: **23 Oct 2009, 14:13**

Winterspring wrote:
Klon wrote:Well, a less funny one.

What's the difference between Rubens Barrichello and The Simpsons?
- Rubens Barrichello was still good in his 17th season.

But it is damn true.

I don't think so.

Posted: **23 Oct 2009, 15:58**

Klon wrote:Well, a less funny one.

What's the difference between Rubens Barrichello and The Simpsons?
- Rubens Barrichello was still good in his 17th season.

I like that one.

Black cats don't let Mark Webber walk across their path in case they get bad luck.

Posted: **23 Oct 2009, 21:18**

Enforcer wrote:
Klon wrote:Well, a less funny one.

What's the difference between Rubens Barrichello and The Simpsons?
- Rubens Barrichello was still good in his 17th season.

I like that one.

Black cats don't let Mark Webber walk across their path in case they get bad luck.

Lol, they should have painted his Jaguar F1 car black, it would have suited him.

Posted: **29 Oct 2009, 14:09**

fjackdaw wrote:Two boys are in hospital in a coma. The first boy is a huge Nigel Mansell fan, so his mother arranges for Nigel to record a special message for him to try and bring him out of the coma. Nigel kindly obliges and sends back a tape. The mother sets the tape going and waits for a flicker of activity from her son.
"Hi Gavin, this is Nigel Mansell," says the voice on the tape, "and I'm going to be spending the next 90 minutes reading you stories and telling you jokes..."
At which point, the second boy wakes up, leaps out of bed, and switches the tape off.

Ahhhhh yes. Nige. Eloquent Il leone. I distinctly remember watching a Clive James New Year's Special ages and ages ago and they had this special clip of Nigel Mansell droning on and on and on and on in relentless, soul-destroying monotone. It was quite comical.

Sorry, I don't have a joke. Just wanted to share that memory.

Posted: **29 Oct 2009, 18:39**

What's the difference between Brawn GP and a roll of Brawny?
One cleans up a mess and the other's a paper towel. (Thanks for giving us someone to root for this 2009 season, fellas!)

Why can't Murray Walker tell tool-asssisted video game runs from normal runs?
He mistakes the Action Replay for the real thing.

Posted: **29 Oct 2009, 18:45**

Not a joke but always makes me laugh*

MacLaren buggies

*I am deficient in pronouns

Posted: **29 Oct 2009, 23:25**

I think Grosjean and Buemi are racing something similar in the paddock, no?

shinji wrote:Not a joke but always makes me laugh*

MacLaren buggies

*I am deficient in pronouns

Posted: **29 Oct 2009, 23:31**

Jordan wrote:I think Grosjean and Buemi are racing something similar in the paddock, no?

shinji wrote:Not a joke but always makes me laugh*

MacLaren buggies

*I am deficient in pronouns

WHen I was 4 years old I had a MacLaren buggy (I was a lazy toddler LOL), and I used to think it was the same as the F1 car, and I had the best buggy in the world :lol:

Posted: **29 Oct 2009, 23:35**

kostas22 wrote:
Jordan wrote:I think Grosjean and Buemi are racing something similar in the paddock, no?

shinji wrote:Not a joke but always makes me laugh*

MacLaren buggies

*I am deficient in pronouns

WHen I was 4 years old I had a MacLaren buggy (I was a lazy toddler LOL), and I used to think it was the same as the F1 car, and I had the best buggy in the world

I used to think that Maclaren and Mclaren were made by the same company.

Posted: **29 Oct 2009, 23:40**

When I wear my Jordan F1 sweater, people think I just have a sweater with my name on it

Posted: **30 Oct 2009, 14:54**

In between contract negotiations, Jenson Button went to see a Fortune Teller.
She said to him, "There will be a lot of money coming your way very soon."
As Button walked out the teller's shop, he got run over by a Securicor van.

Posted: **31 Oct 2009, 14:30**

Jordan wrote:When I wear my Jordan F1 sweater, people think I just have a sweater with my name on it

I'm afraid that if I go out with my Jordan cap on, uneducated people will think it is associated with Katie Price, not the F1 team.

Posted: **11 Nov 2009, 00:34**

watka wrote:
Jordan wrote:When I wear my Jordan F1 sweater, people think I just have a sweater with my name on it

I'm afraid that if I go out with my Jordan cap on, uneducated people will think it is associated with Katie Price, not the F1 team.

Funnily enough, Katie Price has been associated with the F1 team.

Posted: **11 Nov 2009, 01:36**

Waris wrote:
watka wrote:
Jordan wrote:When I wear my Jordan F1 sweater, people think I just have a sweater with my name on it

I'm afraid that if I go out with my Jordan cap on, uneducated people will think it is associated with Katie Price, not the F1 team.

Funnily enough, Katie Price has been associated with the F1 team.

But never with me, and we have the same name/pseudonym in common!

Posted: **13 Nov 2009, 00:32**

My Jordan gear doesn't tend to attract many comments... ...but my first (yellow) Jordan cap did attract about half Silverstone's population of flies (plus a wasp, but strangely no hornets) when I put it on for qualifying of the 2002 British Grand Prix. I had to take it off after five minutes because Dad was getting worried about what would happen when the flies worked out that I wasn't wearing a giant flower on my head.

With hindsight, perhaps I should have bought the black version...

Posted: **13 Nov 2009, 01:00**

Buzzin' hornets make for bitten heroes

Alianora La Canta wrote:My Jordan gear doesn't tend to attract many comments... ...but my first (yellow) Jordan cap did attract about half Silverstone's population of flies (plus a wasp, but strangely no hornets) when I put it on for qualifying of the 2002 British Grand Prix. I had to take it off after five minutes because Dad was getting worried about what would happen when the flies worked out that I wasn't wearing a giant flower on my head.

With hindsight, perhaps I should have bought the black version...

Posted: **13 Nov 2009, 07:39**

Buzzing hornets should make you be on edge.

Posted: **15 Nov 2009, 01:10**

Nice ones, Jordan and thehemogoblin!

Grand Prix Rejects

Anyone got a good F1 joke?

Anyone got a good F1 joke?

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