Grand Prix Rejects

Official Entry List for the 1996 Duel in the Desert

Benetton
1. Douglas Mann
2. Andrew Spokes

Williams

3. Daniel Moreno
4. Pippa Mann

Scuderia Ferrari
5. Tom Douglas
6. Kazuhiko Takagi

McLaren
7. James Davies
8. Rory McAllister

Jordan
9. Martin van der Maeyede
10. Damon Cannon

Sauber
11. Pieter Kickert
12. Pablo da Silva

Footwork
14. Jorg Scrattenheim
15. Kazuyoshi Hoshino

Ligier
16. Masta Valsattis
17. Reiko Megumi

Minardi Team SpA
18. Miko Fakkinen
19. Gio van Dycke

DAMS
20. Niko Nurminen
21. Ben Fleet

Pacific Grand Prix-Ford
22. Siergiej Rozavadoskij
23. Anton Kaliniczenko

Forti GP
24. Giovanni Roda
25. Martin McFry

Tyrrell
26. Eadbhard O'Caiohmin
27. Clivio Durand

Guest Entries:
Stewart
28. Jack Christopherson

Baroncelli-Tyrrell
29. Stephano Baroncelli

von Hegel-Footwork
30. Max von Hegel

DGNeering
31. Chris Dagnall

Whitechapel
32. Poppy Whitechapel

Dome
33. Barii Mori

Caliber
34. Samael Meerwick

DAMS
35. James Allen

Patrese
36. Massimiliano Patrese

Walik-Williams
37. Prince Walik

Stewart GP is also interested in having Douglas Mann in the second seat for the Duel in the Desert if he's interested.

I already pulled Zimmer from the race remember? James Davies took as confirmation of his "brilliance"

And Benetton are also interested in having Douglas Mann drive for the team at the Duel in the Desert. Think about it, it's less likely to explode than some other cars I can mention

the Masked Lapwing wrote:I already pulled Zimmer from the race remember? James Davies took as confirmation of his "brilliance"

And Benetton are also interested in having Douglas Mann drive for the team at the Duel in the Desert. Think about it, it's less likely to explode than some other cars I can mention

But all the cars in GP1 are completely bulletproof unless you crash one into a wall! Also, I'm planning a Grand Reversal race at Suzuka for another non-championship addition.

Poppy Whitechapel wishes to take part in the Duel in the Desert.

the Masked Lapwing wrote:And Benetton are also interested in having Douglas Mann drive for the team at the Duel in the Desert. Think about it, it's less likely to explode than some other cars I can mention

If Ligier is happy with this before Douglas becomes their driver mentor for next year, then he would be happy to accept this offer.

tristan1117 wrote:

the Masked Lapwing wrote:I already pulled Zimmer from the race remember? James Davies took as confirmation of his "brilliance"

And Benetton are also interested in having Douglas Mann drive for the team at the Duel in the Desert. Think about it, it's less likely to explode than some other cars I can mention

But all the cars in GP1 are completely bulletproof unless you crash one into a wall! Also, I'm planning a Grand Reversal race at Suzuka for another non-championship addition.

You're forgetting one thing: It's Douglas Mann. He'll find a way to make it break down.

BlindCaveSalamander wrote:

tristan1117 wrote:

the Masked Lapwing wrote:I already pulled Zimmer from the race remember? James Davies took as confirmation of his "brilliance"

And Benetton are also interested in having Douglas Mann drive for the team at the Duel in the Desert. Think about it, it's less likely to explode than some other cars I can mention

But all the cars in GP1 are completely bulletproof unless you crash one into a wall! Also, I'm planning a Grand Reversal race at Suzuka for another non-championship addition.

You're forgetting one thing: It's Douglas Mann. He'll find a way to make it break down.

Ah yes, not only in this series but F1RWRS 2013 as well. Some classic barbeques that year...

The PMMF needs its own meme: Bad Luck (Douglas) Mann.

As long as SuperAguri's happy with this (I borrowed one of his drivers back in the F1RMGP enduro), Barii Mori will enter with Dome.

FMecha wrote:The PMMF needs its own meme: Bad Luck (Douglas) Mann.

As long as SuperAguri's happy with this (I borrowed one of his drivers back in the F1RMGP enduro), Barii Mori will enter with Dome.

Dome isn't entering in 1997, Tristan1117 said it himself.

And even if it was I called the first right to use it anyway, getting rid of Williams.

eurobrun wrote:

FMecha wrote:The PMMF needs its own meme: Bad Luck (Douglas) Mann.

As long as SuperAguri's happy with this (I borrowed one of his drivers back in the F1RMGP enduro), Barii Mori will enter with Dome.

Dome isn't entering in 1997, Tristan1117 said it himself.

And even if it was I called the first right to use it anyway, getting rid of Williams.

Yes but the Mori/Dome issue is for Duel in the Desert.

The Lukas! Please submit Anderson's replacement before Monday. Thank you.

IGNORE.

tristan1117 wrote:The Lukas! Please submit Anderson's replacement before Monday. Thank you.

Okay
Pacfic line-up to Duel in the Desert
22. Siergiej Rozvadoskij(Lithuania)
23. Anton Kaliniczenko

Round 15: Italy
Monza, Dry all-round




The traditionally dull Italian Grand Prix turned out a very interesting grid. Jack Christopherson took his first pole of the season and of his '95 comeback (take that Schumacher, oh wait, he sort of got a pole position...) in the McLaren. John Zimmer will line up alongside him. Pippa Mann out-qualified her teammate by a sliver; every spot is critical in this championship race. Leonhard von Gottorp did well to qualify fifth with his teammate not far behind in seventh. At the back, Rozvadoskij qualified four tenths behind his teammate but that can be excused considering that this was his first time in the car. Still better than Anderson's efforts.

At least Christopherson scored a pole and a podium in his first season on his comeback, rather than two and a half seasons in! (Well, sort of.)

Come on Pippa! You can do this!

Round 15: Italy

DANIEL MORENO WINS THE TITLE!

I thought about withholding that crucial bit of information until the end of the written review but I decided against it, mainly because that would be tremendously annoying. However, his path to the title came after an incredible series of lucky events that clinched him the win he needed to get there. In fact, there were nine separate "lives" that gave him what he needed.

Life 1: Pippa Mann spins .

Moreno and Mann both got off to a terrible start, falling quickly to seventh and ninth. Zimmer got the jump on Christopherson while the Williams cars dropped back and were having trouble staying ahead of the likes McAllister and Douglas Mann. Then, the first defining moment of the race occurred. At the start of Lap 2, Pippa spun off at the Rettifilo, moving her to the back of the grid. This gave Moreno a huge amount of breathing room.

Life 2: Tom Douglas suffers a brake problem.

At this point, Moreno was running in seventh place. Zimmer, Christopherson, von Gottorp, Douglas Mann, Tom Douglas, and Damon Cannon all lay ahead, in that order. If Moreno was to make any ground on Pippa, he needed to pass all of them. But, through incredible good fortune, he did not have to pass anyone. First, Tom Douglas was forced to pit due to a brake problem, dropping the Ferrari back down the field.

Life 3: von Gottorp's throttle sticks.

von Gottorp was also forced to pit with a stuck throttle, letting Moreno into fifth.

Life 4: Jack Christopherson's suspension fails.

Christopherson went out with a suspension failure on Lap 10, taking himself out of contention immediately and wasting all his good work from Saturday.

Life 5: Douglas Mann's Mugen-Honda engine fails on the same lap.

Then, Mann's engine failed spectacularly later in the lap, elevating Moreno up to third.

Life 6: Spokes collides with Douglas Mann.

Spokes was battling with Moreno for the first ten laps, even getting ahead at one point. Unfortunately, he was not prepared for the slowing Ligier and he smashed into the back of the car, knocking his front wing off and putting him in last.

Life 7: Pippa Mann bogs down in traffic.

After all that, Zimmer pitted, leaving Moreno in the lead after everyone in front of him was knocked out in various freak incidents. Moreno held the lead until his own stop on Lap 23. In spite of Zimmer's pace, Moreno had a sizable chance of victory considering that Zimmer was now on a two-stop strategy and Moreno was on the traditionally superior one-stop strategy. All Moreno had to do was make sure that he finished the race. Meanwhile, Pippa Mann's run through the field stalled as she took four laps to pass O'Caiohmin's Tyrrell and another three to pass Hoshino's Footwork.

Life 8: Pippa Mann's engine fails.

Despite all of her problems, Pippa had made her way back into the points thanks to the high attrition rate. But right before her fuel stop, the Renault engine combusted, giving Moreno an even clearer path to the title.

Life 9: John Zimmer's electronics give out; Moreno takes the luckiest win in the F1RGP2C's history.

But all was not lost for Pippa Mann. John Zimmer was flying like it was 1995 all over again and he quickly made up his extra pit stop. Rozvadoskij stupidly decided to unlap himself, giving Zimmer an extra three seconds. Soon enough, Zimmer shot past Moreno on Lap 40, breathing new life into the championship. But on the last lap, Zimmer's electronics failed as he reached the Parabolica. Zimmer coasted into the pits where the Benetton mechanics failed to repair his car. Moreno swept past as Zimmer dropped to seventh as the Benetton pits do not cross the start-finish line.

There are two ways to frame this remarkable series of events. One is to say that Moreno finally found some luck. The other is to say that luck completely deserted Pippa at the least opportune moment. Actually, there is a conspiracy out there that Williams and Renault contrived a Moreno victory by sabotaging all the other drivers. Who has access to Benetton's electrical systems? Why, the Renault engine technicians, of course. Maybe they caused Pippa's engine to combust, correctly assuming that Douglas Mann's engine would blow up and Ferrari would do something stupid. Then, all they had to do was ask Christopherson, Moreno's ex-teammate at Williams, to pull over with a "mechanical failure". The only outlier was von Gottorp but they probably thought that Leonhard wasn't going to be a factor anyway. Anyway, what we do know is that Moreno only set the eighth fastest lap of the race and still won, which is probably a record. A deserved championship? No, anyone who gives up seven easy victories via unforced errors does not deserve to win the world championship. Yet Daniel Moreno is the champion, and nothing we do (barring a massive miscalculation) is going to change that.

TL;DR Daniel Moreno is a bathplugging cat!

Positives (briefly):
Jordan: What a race by the Jordan team. Cannon produced another consistent, solid drive right into second position. It is possible that von Gottorp could have won the race if not for his throttle problem but third place is a great result for the team.

Ferrari: A good double points finish for Ferrari was the best they could do considering the litany of reliability problems they've had this season. This time, both Takagi and Douglas were forced to pit due to brake problems but they did salvage five points from the race. Not really good enough for the tifosi, perhaps, but good enough for me.

John Zimmer: If he had won… We will never know…

Gio van Dycke: The only finisher outside of Benetton, Ferrari, Jordan and Williams.

Negatives:
Mugen-Honda: Douglas Mann was running in second place when his engine failed. If he had continued, he would have probably finished in second place. I don't blame him for retiring at the end of the year.

Douglas Mann: What exactly was he doing during his collision with Spokes? I don't know. Why did he defend the racing line while his car was on fire? I don't know. That little stunt earned him two penalty points. He was running in second before his engine failed so it wasn't all bad.

Tyrrell

Sauber

Ferrari brakes

McLaren


Pippa Mann: Compared to other great championship drives, this was not a great performance from Pippa Mann. At all. Sure, you can blame bad fortune all you want but that first spin was clumsy.

Siergiej Rozvadoskij: Well, he finished the race, albeit five laps down. That was the only good thing he did all day. He spun off four times, impeded a host of drivers and was dead slow. Oh yeah, and I almost forgot about his vain attempt to unlap himself from the leading Williams car while four laps down. Rozvadoskij wins Reject of the Race for the grand prix.






Penalties:
Douglas Mann: +2 Idiotic move on Spokes, ruining his race.
Siergiej Rozvadoskij: +3 Unsafe spin turn reentry, Blocking Tom Douglas, unlacing himself from Daniel Moreno, being generally useless

Championship Standings:
(to be done later)

Penalty Standings
1. Martin McFry - 9
2. Artiom Zielenkovski - 4
3. Tom Douglas - 3
= Siergiej Rozvadoskij - 3
5. Andrew Spokes - 2
= Rory McAllister - 2
= Giovanni Roda - 2
= Ben Fleet - 2
= Miko Fakkinen - 2
= Gio van Dycke - 2
= Damon Cannon - 2
= Douglas Mann - 2
13. Kazuyoshi Hoshino - 1
= Jorg Scrattenheim - 1
= Anton Kaliniczenko - 1
= Pieter Kickert - 1
= Pablo da Silva - 1
= Robert Anderson - 1
= Eadbhard O'Caiohmin - 1

James Davies wrote:Dan Moreno, you are one the luckiest bastard ever, I swear. In more important news, I may just be able to make the Japanese Grand Prix. Obviously I'll need the FIA to clear me first, as well as talk it over with the boss, but I think everything should check out fine.

Do you really want to boot Christopherson out of his seat considering that he just took pole position at the last race? And considering that McLaren needs to beat Ferrari to get third in the Constructors' at the next race.

Awwww, there goes another Ford engine. It was to be expected after so many fine double finishes to have a double DNF.

Both Pippa and Douglas Mann are too frustrated to talk to the press. Douglas realised that he made an error of judgement in the race, but feels that the stewards are just rubbing salt into the wound by issuing penalty points as well. And Pippa will reluctantly complete the season, despite having nothing left to race for. She will definitely retire at the end of the season.

I don't know if the second Williams seat is already filled for next season, but if not I'd like to bid for it with Rory McAllister.

Phoenix wrote:I don't know if the second Williams seat is already filled for next season, but if not I'd like to bid for it with Rory McAllister.

Don Rennis would like to remind Rory that he already has a contract with McLaren for next year.

Wizzie wrote:

Phoenix wrote:I don't know if the second Williams seat is already filled for next season, but if not I'd like to bid for it with Rory McAllister.

Don Rennis would like to remind Rory that he already has a contract with McLaren for next year.

You could let him go and hire Pieter Kickert

Dutchman Martin van der Maeyede is looking for a drive.

pasta_maldonado wrote:Dutchman Martin van der Maeyede is looking for a drive.

I suggest you take part in the Duel in the Desert. Do you want?