Formula One - The Movie

Captain Hammer · Post by **Captain Hammer** » 25 Apr 2009, 12:52

Okay, so we all know that a few years ago, Sylvester Stallone tried to make a film about Formula One. And he utterly failed. Bernie all-but kicked him out of the paddock and the end result was DRIVEN, a film about ChampCars with a plot that largely revolved around racing cars doing somersaults at the slightest hint of a cross-wind. But let's say that, for argument's sake, a proper film is being made. Gone are the likes of Renny Harlin as director and Stallone as writer; instead, we have people with actual talent. Not that it matters, but we'll just say Christopher Nolan is directing and Joss Whedon is writing, so you know it' going to be good. Unfortunately, Messrs Nolan and Whedon don't know much about Formula One, and they've come to us looking for advice on who should be cast for which role. Basically, we're going to need all the drivers, the major team principals, Bernie and Max, the commentators and possibly a love interest. Here are a few of my picks:

Flavio Briatore: Billy Connolly
Lewis Hamilton: Will Smith
David Coulthard: Buzz Lightyear
Mark Webber: Eric Bana

But don't let me take all the good ones ...

Ross Prawn · Post by **Ross Prawn** » 25 Apr 2009, 14:51

Alan Rickman as Max

CarlosFerreira · Post by **CarlosFerreira** » 25 Apr 2009, 15:04

Hannah Montana as Nick Heidfeld.

captainhappy · Post by **captainhappy** » 25 Apr 2009, 16:09

CarlosFerreira wrote:Hannah Montana as Nick Heidfeld.

OMG I am laughing uncontrollably right now!!! Thanks for making my morning!

Ben Gilbert · Post by **Ben Gilbert** » 25 Apr 2009, 16:45

Murray Walker - Harry Hill/Dara O Briain/Himself

Sebastian Vettel - Russell Howard?

Ross Prawn · Post by **Ross Prawn** » 25 Apr 2009, 17:02

Al Pacino as Nigel Tozzi
Ray Winstone as Ron Dennis
Christopher Lee as Frank Williams
Scarlett Johanssen as Niko Rosberg
Ian McDiarmid as Bernie Ecclestone
Angelina Jolie as Flavia Eccelstone
Hugh Jackman as Mark Webber
Rowan Atkinson as Stephano Domenicali

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 25 Apr 2009, 17:49

I highly suggest Keanu Reeves playing the 2007 World Champion Kimi Räikkönen...

CarlosFerreira · Post by **CarlosFerreira** » 25 Apr 2009, 18:09

Klon wrote:I highly suggest Keanu Reeves playing the 2007 World Champion Kimi Räikkönen...

Bingo!

razta · Post by **razta** » 25 Apr 2009, 18:44

Bloody brilliant guys

Henrique · Post by **Henrique** » 25 Apr 2009, 19:54

Ross Prawn wrote:Ian McDiarmid as Bernie Ecclestone

Oh, the Emperor :lol:

Ross Prawn · Post by **Ross Prawn** » 25 Apr 2009, 22:26

Henrique wrote:
Ross Prawn wrote:Ian McDiarmid as Bernie Ecclestone

Oh, the Emperor

Yep

Ross Prawn · Post by **Ross Prawn** » 25 Apr 2009, 22:49

Kip Pardue as Sebastian Bourdais
Sacha Baron Cohen as Robert Kubica
Javier Bardem as Fernando Alonso
Mickey Mouse as Nelsinho Piquet
David Tennant as Jenson Button
Patrick Stewart as Adrian Newey

CarlosFerreira · Post by **CarlosFerreira** » 26 Apr 2009, 00:54

Ross Prawn wrote:Mickey Mouse as Nelsinho Piquet

Ross Prawn · Post by **Ross Prawn** » 26 Apr 2009, 07:47

Grace Jones as Lewis's Mum. Seen here having a friendly chat with Ron Dennis.

noshpit · Post by **noshpit** » 26 Apr 2009, 13:30

i thought lewis's mum was white (not meaning to be racist just stating a fact)

Dom · Post by **Dom** » 26 Apr 2009, 14:07

Could we have Sean Bean as Rob "chill Felipe baby" Smedley?

Ross Prawn · Post by **Ross Prawn** » 26 Apr 2009, 16:31

noshpit wrote:i thought lewis's mum was white (not meaning to be racist just stating a fact)

Oops, how right you are. Ok, Grace Jones as Lewis's dad then.

johnston21 · Post by **johnston21** » 26 Apr 2009, 16:49

Ross Prawn wrote:Alan Rickman as Max

Very funny

Salamander · Post by **Salamander** » 26 Apr 2009, 20:24

Ross Prawn wrote:Sacha Baron Cohen as Robert Kubica

Had to laugh at this one. :lol:

Ben Gilbert · Post by **Ben Gilbert** » 26 Apr 2009, 20:51

Ross Prawn wrote:Sacha Baron Cohen as Robert Kubica

I was thinking The Child Cather from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for that role.

Maybe Baron Cohen could play Massa?

Along with:

Richard Hammond as Sebastien Buemi
Rowan Atkinson as Adrian Sutil
and
Phill Jupitus/Stephen Fry as Ross Brawn (Probably Fry)

CarlosFerreira · Post by **CarlosFerreira** » 26 Apr 2009, 20:56

Jeremy Clarkson as Patrick Head.

Bort · Post by **Bort** » 27 Apr 2009, 02:27

Nathan Lane as Rubens Barrichello

Bort · Post by **Bort** » 27 Apr 2009, 02:31

Meatloaf as Patrick Head.

Bort · Post by **Bort** » 27 Apr 2009, 03:02

...and simply because I have already run out of ideas...

A bichon frise as Sebastien Vettel.

Captain Hammer · Post by **Captain Hammer** » 27 Apr 2009, 03:20

Daniel Craig as Jenson Button, because the Toyotas folded in Bahrain at the first sight of him.

Zac Efron as James Allen, becase everybody hates both of them.

Roger Moore as Richard Branson, because both of them are old(er) men surrounded by women young enough to be their grandchildren.

Nathan Fillion as Heikki Kovalainen, because the man never seems to get any attention.

Steven Segal as Giancarlo Fisichella, becase he's a washed-up has-been who should have quit years ago.

Reverie Planetarian · Post by **Reverie Planetarian** » 27 Apr 2009, 03:51

Reminds me of all the talk they've been doing about Bruce Willis being Murray Walker in a Schumacher biopic...raise your hand if you either can't picture that or are starting to picture some insane Murrayisms delivered by Willis...

RejectSteve · Post by **RejectSteve** » 27 Apr 2009, 15:31

Captain Hammer wrote:Roger Moore as Richard Branson, because both of them are old(er) men surrounded by women young enough to be their grandchildren.

He'll double his roles also by taking the role of Flavio Briatore.

Debaser · Post by **Debaser** » 27 Apr 2009, 15:51

A dalek from Doctor Who will be Bernie ("You will obey! You will obey! Exterminate!). Matthew McCoughrey will be Jenson Button (good on the outside but never says/does anything interesting) and Eric Cantona can be Jean Todt.

Klon · Post by **Klon** » 27 Apr 2009, 16:10

CarlosFerreira wrote:
Klon wrote:I highly suggest Keanu Reeves playing the 2007 World Champion Kimi Räikkönen...

Bingo!

I wanted to put a little dialouge in my first posting, which should have been additional proof that this would be a good decision, but I've forgotten it - now I remember

Formula One Movie wrote:Race Engineer: "It's all over, Hamilton seven, by my calculations we win the championship by one point."
Keanu Reeves (as Raikkönen): "Woah..."

GT VIRUS · Post by **GT VIRUS** » 27 Apr 2009, 23:26

FIA stewards played by the 3 'stars' from Tallagaga nights (whoever they were, i dont think there names are worth remebering)

chrismc_DC2 · Post by **chrismc_DC2** » 27 Apr 2009, 23:28

Bort wrote:

Meatloaf as Patrick Head.

No way.....he is a real "DEAD RINGER" for Norbert Haug!!!! :lol:

chrismc_DC2 · Post by **chrismc_DC2** » 27 Apr 2009, 23:32

How about a cameo role for Alice Cooper putting in a guest appearance at the Brazillian GP as former world champion Emerson Fittipaldi???

Bort · Post by **Bort** » 27 Apr 2009, 23:51

chrismc_DC2 wrote:No way.....he is a real "DEAD RINGER" for Norbert Haug!!!!

Hah... close, but I still think this actually IS Meatloaf with a haircut.

razta · Post by **razta** » 28 Apr 2009, 04:26

HAHAHAH! It is Meatloaf, the similarities are sooo clear

RejectSteve · Post by **RejectSteve** » 28 Apr 2009, 20:03

razta wrote:HAHAHAH! It is Meatloaf, the similarities are sooo clear

"I'll do anything for wins but I won't run KERS."

watka · Post by **watka** » 28 Apr 2009, 21:36

If there is any room for Montoya in the film, he should be played by Christian Bale.

Ross Prawn · Post by **Ross Prawn** » 28 Apr 2009, 21:52

Ok, how about this lot:-

Frank Williams

Norbert Haug

Flavio Briatore

Ron Dennis

Max

Lewis's dad

Luca di Montezemulo

Pat Symonds

Vijay Mallya

Patrick Head

Martin Whitmarsh

Bernie

Mike Gasgoyne

Stephano Domenicali

Christian Horner

Franz Tost

Ross Brawn and Nick Fry

Captain Hammer · Post by **Captain Hammer** » 28 Apr 2009, 22:28

Then who should Mathieu Amalric play? Peter Windsor?

Bort · Post by **Bort** » 29 Apr 2009, 00:45

Ross Prawn wrote:Ok, how about this lot:

Absolute genius.

Paul Hayes · Post by **Paul Hayes** » 29 Apr 2009, 20:35

Can Chris Martin from Coldplay act, do you reckon? He'd be a cert for Button if he could!