Funny quotes about Rejects

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 12 Jan 2010, 01:24

Hi all,

This is my first ever post (despite browsing f1rejects for circa 3 years) and I have to say I aboslutely love the website...keep up the great work guys.

Thought it would be a giggle during the off season to post famous / funny quotes you are aware of, on the "unusal" antics of our favorite hero's. I know there are some brillant examples already on the drivers profiles (i.e. Murray Walker famous quote on Jean-Denis Deletraz During the 1995 European GP "What is Deletraz doing?...never mind what he is doing" LOL. that will NEVER wear out with me). But I'm sure you lot know of other funny ones that have not been mentioned already...particularly made by F1 commentators perhaps with no clue on F1 or the driver they are critising or magazines / websites etc...

I'll kick off with a few classics;

1. James Hunt on Rene Arnoux @ Monaco 1989 (I know he's not a F1 reject but that shouldn't spoil it)

Murray Walker; "Rene Arnoux was telling me yesterday that the reason he is so slow is because he is finding it difficult to adjust from turbos to normally atmosphereric cars"

James Hunt; "That's BULLSH*IT!"

2. Clive James in 1986 on Andrea de Cesaris (a.k.a. De Crashris)

"De Cesaris is some understeer clear even when he is stationary"

3. Martin Brundle on Riccardo Rosset @ 1998 Brazillan GP

"there are some days where Rosset cannot even drive a nail into a piece of wood"

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 12 Jan 2010, 03:16

What is Deletraz doing?

Collieafc · Post by **Collieafc** » 12 Jan 2010, 12:35

"I'll stop the startwatch!"

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 12 Jan 2010, 15:24

"Enzo Coloni agreed to pay me U$100,000 back in 1991."-Pedro Chaves.

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 12 Jan 2010, 16:21

"Uyko Katayama in 1994 you crashed 4 times, in 1995 you crashed 5 times, in 1996 you crashed 6 times...what are your plans for the coming season?" - Clive James

"Katayama is such a great driver sometimes he is allowed to leave the race early" - Clive James (again)

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 12 Jan 2010, 16:28

(Not a reject...just)
John Watson, on Bertrand Gachot crashing into a tyre chicane at Jerez 1994 Quali...

"SURPRISE SURPRIIIIISE!"

watka · Post by **watka** » 12 Jan 2010, 17:03

ibsey wrote:"Uyko Katayama in 1994 you crashed 4 times, in 1995 you crashed 5 times, in 1996 you crashed 6 times...what are your plans for the coming season?" - Clive James

"Katayama is such a great driver sometimes he is allowed to leave the race early" - Clive James (again)

There is of course Murray Walker's: "Ukyo Katayama, undoubtedly the best Formula One driver that Grand Prix racing has ever produced."

dr-baker · Post by **dr-baker** » 12 Jan 2010, 18:05

I'm currently on holiday in the north of England, but as soon as I get home, I will be posting big-time on here...

Bleu · Post by **Bleu** » 12 Jan 2010, 20:47

"There was a chicane in the chicane, I think his name was Morbidelli."

Quote by none other than Michael Schumacher.

Morbidelli was a reject at that time, he escaped a little over two years later.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 12 Jan 2010, 20:59

kostas22 wrote:(Not a reject...just)
John Watson, on Bertrand Gachot crashing into a tyre chicane at Montmeló 1994 Quali...

"SURPRISE SURPRIIIIISE!"

DonTirri · Post by **DonTirri** » 12 Jan 2010, 21:15

Phoenix wrote:
kostas22 wrote:(Not a reject...just)
John Watson, on Bertrand Gachot crashing into a tyre chicane at Montmeló 1994 Quali...

"SURPRISE SURPRIIIIISE!"

Catalunya actually.

And I think Watson was more referring to the chicane with that Suprise-quote.

PLUS that would've happened in Indy 05 had they placed the tyre chicane there like they wanted to.

danardif1 · Post by **danardif1** » 12 Jan 2010, 21:50

DonTirri wrote:
Phoenix wrote:
kostas22 wrote:(Not a reject...just)
John Watson, on Bertrand Gachot crashing into a tyre chicane at Montmeló 1994 Quali...

"SURPRISE SURPRIIIIISE!"

Catalunya actually.

And I think Watson was more referring to the chicane with that Suprise-quote.

PLUS that would've happened in Indy 05 had they placed the tyre chicane there like they wanted to.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montmelo
Phoenix is right...

it's really strange seeing how.. primitive a solution that was, in an area of the track that wasn't even that fast (they were coming up to another chicane I believe?

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 13 Jan 2010, 01:44

Bleu wrote:"There was a chicane in the chicane, I think his name was Morbidelli."

Quote by none other than Michael Schumacher.

Morbidelli was a reject at that time, he escaped a little over two years later.

On the subject of mobile chicanes I recall good 'old Murray & James Hunt constantly refering to (the under-rated) Pierlugi Martini as a mobile chicane throughout the 1985 European GP. When Martini finally retired James said..."I don't think any of the drivers will be sad to see him out of this race"

A few of other gems I found (some admittly from old Pod casts) for your enjoyment..

Martin BRundle on Riccardo Zonta on running into his pit crew @ european GP in 2000 "...JUST WAKE UP!!!"

"You go on onboard with Ide, you can be pretty sure its not going to be anything special." (I don't know who said it but they obviously never seen Ide in Kamakazie mode. LOL)

Murray Walker @ Monaco GP 1998; "some people are really debating whether or not Rosset is F1 material?"
Martin Brundle; "Well its a fairly short debate Murray"
(Also after Rosset crashed at the swimming pool section in Qualifying" and tried + failed to do a spin turn didn't Martin Brundle say something like " ...Oh that's a clever idea, now's he's going to drive straight through the grandstand to get back to the pits"?)

Finally, in order to broaden this thread, can I suggest we change the topic to include ANY funny comments / quotes or even stories in F1 as I wanted to include this great interveiw with Jonesy I've just come across......

4KQ/ You have been around racing for a long time from the 60's to now, longer than many

AJ/ Yeah I've had more comebacks that Dame Edna Everage !

....
4KQ/ Why did you stop F1 ?

AJ/ Well after 13 years of putting up the worst miserable drizzly weather imaginable in England and making a bundle of money, every year I would come home for Xmas in Australia, it would just get increasingly difficult to go back to England's weather and Christian (son) came along and I wanted to raise him in the best country in the World.

.....
4KQ/ What did you get for the 1980 WDC ??

AJ/ I got a small trophy and a gold medallion set in velvet.

....
4KQ/ Ok and besides that what is your favorite racing memorabilia from all those years ?

AJ/ The Cheques !!!!!!

RejectSteve · Post by **RejectSteve** » 13 Jan 2010, 09:25

ibsey wrote:"You go on onboard with Ide, you can be pretty sure its not going to be anything good." (I don't know who said it but they obviously never seen Ide in Kamakazie mode. LOL)

Steve Matchett, ex-Benetton spannerman turned TV commentator. As far as having not seen him, it was only Ide's second GP weekend.

MinardiFan95 · Post by **MinardiFan95** » 13 Jan 2010, 13:42

These are just some of Murray Walker's best reject quotes

"...and the Peugeot cup of misery is filled past overflowing..." After one of the Peugeot engines used by Prost in 2000 expires (yet again)

"Andrea de Cesaris...the man who has won more Grands Prix than anyone else without actually winning one of them." I think Murray meant that Andrea has started the most Grand Prix without winning one.

'Oh that's the Forti, and, it looks like, err, its Roberto Moreno's car , the err Brazilian .. I was going to say the elderly Brazilian , he's only 36 but he's actually the oldest driver in the race at the present moment, though he's just retired from it!'

"And there's a dry line appearing in the tunnel" (slight pause) "Obvious really as it has a roof"

".... while I tell you the retirements are Barrichello, Mika Salo, NAKANO, Damon Hill and SHINJI NAKANO".

"Hello...hello...three wheels, three wheels on my wagon... but.... OH!!!!..... it's Nakano..."

"..and Nakano is being lapped, will he pull over ... he does .. Shinji, you are a Japanese Gentleman!"

"Stewart have two cars in the top five - Magnusson 5th and Barichello 6th"

" Fire! Fire!, Diniz in the oven"

If I was Paul Stoddart, I'd be nipping out with the Box Browning right now to take a photo of the timing screens, because Alonso is in third position, ahead of his team-mate Tarso Marques."

"The difference between the Benetton and Minardi budgets; well there must be a word bigger than 'enormous', and that is it."

FloProAct · Post by **FloProAct** » 13 Jan 2010, 15:08

Brundles comment on 2009 cars: "The cars look more classy. Apart from that the front wing scares small children."

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 13 Jan 2010, 18:20

That Murray Walker Peugoet comment make me think of this one from the French GP in 2000

"We now have 850bhp" - Peugoet Management

"If you have 850bhp then the others must have 1000bhp" - Jean Alesi.

On Luca Badoer tears after his drive at Nurburgring in 1999, Lousie Goodman (on ITV's Xmas seaon review) states matter of factly "...and the Minardi breaks down...shortly followed by Badoer"

(on the subject of Badoer, does anyone remember what Rob Smedly said to jee him up over the radio in quali for Spa 2009? I recall it being something fairly patorising)

Finally;

"Nicola Larini, copes well with being called NICOLA" - Clive James

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 13 Jan 2010, 22:23

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_N9IxsK1Gs

Clive James at his best. "He was lucky not to go over the barrier and down to one of the seafront bars, where he would have been offered a drink, but might have had trouble holding it steady."

CarlosFerreira · Post by **CarlosFerreira** » 13 Jan 2010, 22:51

redbulljack14 wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_N9IxsK1Gs

Clive James at his best. "He was lucky not to go over the barrier and down to one of the seafront bars, where he would have been offered a drink, but might have had trouble holding it steady."

One of the best comments I've ever heard.

DonTirri · Post by **DonTirri** » 14 Jan 2010, 06:31

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4Hb3MDG-Aw

About 1:07 into the video.

"Frustration built up, and drivers began to wonder if there weren't other ways to pass the car in front apart from going around it. De Cesarises' Alfa teammate Giancomelli got past Lauda by the novel method of declining to break for the next corner. He dropkicked Arnoux out of the race. Arnoux hardly laughed at all"

A bit longwinded yeah, but funny none the less. If you can get your hands on it, do watch the 1982 official season review, it has some of the greatest commentary ever

Another gem from the Brazilian Grand Prix. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04pH_3fUtDU

"didn't the normally aspirated Rosberg know he was supposed to be obsolete?"

TomWazzleshaw · Post by **TomWazzleshaw** » 14 Jan 2010, 07:23

I think we've found our replacement for Legard :mrgreen:

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 14 Jan 2010, 12:10

Wizzie wrote:I think we've found our replacement for Legard

Anyone could replace Legard.

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 14 Jan 2010, 12:21

I couldn't find a clip on utube, but in the South African GP of the 1982 official season review Clive James said something like..

"Carlos Retueman, when he charges he is like the Argentian Airforce...but then usually fades away like the Argentian army" :lol:

(not very PC at the time).

Also, from memory he said something like

"I know cars don't have a personalilty, but the Renault sometimes made you wonder. Its a bit like the girl who says no every other time"

I also quite liked Tony Jardine, what ever happened to him? I always remeber he used to call Mazzacane... Marzapane

karsten · Post by **karsten** » 14 Jan 2010, 15:55

A small pearl probably unknown to non-italians regarding everybody's hero, Andre sassetti (manager of Andrea Moda).

"Si va' alla guerra con cio' che si ha"

Translated to english it sounds like "you wage war with what you have at your disposal". Answer given after being questioned by journalist for sending out perry mc Carty out for qulifying with rain tires in a 30+C racetrack.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 14 Jan 2010, 17:59

karsten wrote:A small pearl probably unknown to non-italians regarding everybody's hero, Andre sassetti (manager of Andrea Moda).

"Si va' alla guerra con cio' che si ha"

Translated to english it sounds like "you wage war with what you have at your disposal". Answer given after being questioned by journalist for sending out perry mc Carty out for qulifying with rain tires in a 30+C racetrack.

With what you have, or with what you're worried to have.

karsten · Post by **karsten** » 14 Jan 2010, 20:44

Phoenix wrote:
karsten wrote:A small pearl probably unknown to non-italians regarding everybody's hero, Andre sassetti (manager of Andrea Moda).

"Si va' alla guerra con cio' che si ha"

Translated to english it sounds like "you wage war with what you have at your disposal". Answer given after being questioned by journalist for sending out perry mc Carty out for qulifying with rain tires in a 30+C racetrack.

With what you have, or with what you're worried to have.

in case you didn't notice, i'm italian

"with what you have" might be a good translation (even tough not perfectly transferred to english), but "with what you're worried to have" is nowhere close in any way.

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 14 Jan 2010, 20:47

karsten wrote:
Phoenix wrote:
karsten wrote:A small pearl probably unknown to non-italians regarding everybody's hero, Andre sassetti (manager of Andrea Moda).

"Si va' alla guerra con cio' che si ha"

Translated to english it sounds like "you wage war with what you have at your disposal". Answer given after being questioned by journalist for sending out perry mc Carty out for qulifying with rain tires in a 30+C racetrack.

With what you have, or with what you're worried to have.

in case you didn't notice, i'm italian

"with what you have" might be a good translation (even tough not perfectly transferred to english), but "with what you're worried to have" is nowhere close in any way.

Don't worry. Phoenix speaks his own personal bastardization of English... we call it Phoenglish.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 15 Jan 2010, 15:01

thehemogoblin wrote:
Don't worry. Phoenix speaks his own personal bastardization of English... we call it Phoenglish.

I wasn't correcting him. I was just pointing out Andrea Sassetti was so unworried about team's management that I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot to buy dry tyres. So, I wasn't correcting him, just making an appreciation. And is my English so weird, dude? I don't mind getting corrected from time to time.

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 15 Jan 2010, 16:42

Phoenix wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:
Don't worry. Phoenix speaks his own personal bastardization of English... we call it Phoenglish.

I wasn't correcting him. I was just pointing out Andrea Sassetti was so unworried about team's management that I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot to buy dry tyres. So, I wasn't correcting him, just making an appreciation. And is my English so weird, dude? I don't mind getting corrected from time to time.

It's just a little running joke. Like Captain Hammer/Kobayashi or HWNSNBM. Don't take it seriously, your English is really excellent, considering it's not your native language and as far as I know you have no affinity towards an English-speaking country (i.e. you're not like Carlos who's lived in the UK).

Post by **DemocalypseNow** » 15 Jan 2010, 19:44

shinji wrote:
Phoenix wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:
Don't worry. Phoenix speaks his own personal bastardization of English... we call it Phoenglish.

I wasn't correcting him. I was just pointing out Andrea Sassetti was so unworried about team's management that I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot to buy dry tyres. So, I wasn't correcting him, just making an appreciation. And is my English so weird, dude? I don't mind getting corrected from time to time.

It's just a little running joke. Like Captain Hammer/Kobayashi or HWNSNBM. Don't take it seriously, your English is really excellent, considering it's not your native language and as far as I know you have no affinity towards an English-speaking country (i.e. you're not like Carlos who's lived in the UK).

I see our 'breakup'* has lead you to forget about my infinite hatred towards a Mr J.B, which is bigger than that of Capt'n Hammer vs Kobayashi simply because its been there for nine years. :roll:

*Another little running joke, I blame eagleash.

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 15 Jan 2010, 21:23

Phoenix wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:
Don't worry. Phoenix speaks his own personal bastardization of English... we call it Phoenglish.

I wasn't correcting him. I was just pointing out Andrea Sassetti was so unworried about team's management that I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot to buy dry tyres. So, I wasn't correcting him, just making an appreciation. And is my English so weird, dude? I don't mind getting corrected from time to time.

Phoenix,

I was just trying to make him feel more at home... I can only think of one or two posts you've ever made that I completely haven't understood. Usually, I'm just poking fun at small little mistakes you make. For a 17-year-old who hasn't ever spent time in an English-speaking country, you do a fantastic job. Hell, my mom's lived in the US for 30+ years and her English isn't that much better than yours. You're doing great. I just like to make fun of you and everyone else... (Plus, I thought my little portmanteau of Phoenix and English was crafty.)

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 15 Jan 2010, 21:34

thehemogoblin wrote:
Phoenix wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:
Don't worry. Phoenix speaks his own personal bastardization of English... we call it Phoenglish.

I wasn't correcting him. I was just pointing out Andrea Sassetti was so unworried about team's management that I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot to buy dry tyres. So, I wasn't correcting him, just making an appreciation. And is my English so weird, dude? I don't mind getting corrected from time to time.

Phoenix,

I was just trying to make him feel more at home... I can only think of one or two posts you've ever made that I completely haven't understood. Usually, I'm just poking fun at small little mistakes you make. For a 17-year-old who hasn't ever spent time in an English-speaking country, you do a fantastic job. Hell, my mom's lived in the US for 30+ years and her English isn't that much better than yours. You're doing great. I just like to make fun of you and everyone else... (Plus, I thought my little portmanteau of Phoenix and English was crafty.)

Was... was that a sincere post from thehemogoblin??????

The world is coming to an end people!

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 15 Jan 2010, 22:31

Coming back to the topic, I just remember this corker from the 1989 FIA Season review, when Stefano Modena got disqualified (from I think the italian GP). Apologies I did try finding a utube link to it but couldn't...but if you have the video you have to watch it, its hilarous. Now Stefano always appeared to have a 'off' look about him. But in this particular interview there's an exasperated look about him, sort of "What else can go wrong for me today?" style, and he keeps on frowning (don't get me started on his 80's jumper). When asked what he is going to do to FISA about his penalty, he frowns once again, and says...

"What am I supposed to do, go there and kick them?"

thehemogoblin · Post by **thehemogoblin** » 16 Jan 2010, 00:44

Worse things have happened Shinjirishman.

ibsey · Post by **ibsey** » 16 Jan 2010, 20:36

Ok, just remembered another gem today. 1983 Austrian GP, James Hunt (and even Murray...who's not usually prone to this sort of thing) starts ripping into J.P. Jarrier for holding up Tambay, and allowing Arnoux to take the lead. The best bits from James Hunt's abuse includes...

"He'll be thanking Jarrier later with a knuckle sandwich...that was completely out of order Jarrier shouldn't be allowed to drive a GP car...he's got the mental age of 10 years old...a knuckle sandwich is the minimal penualty Jarrier should chew on...he's done it at every opportunity which is pretty frequent as he's always seems to be at the back of the grid".

Murray says in reply "that was a crash piece of driving from Jarrier"

later on when the TV shows Jarrier's pit stop...James Hunt states...

"Thats a pretty slow one there, pity they didn't keep him there really"
:lol:

FullMetalJack · Post by **FullMetalJack** » 16 Jan 2010, 23:37

shinji wrote:The world is coming to an end people!

That must mean that Birmingham City will win the Premiership :mrgreen:

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 16 Jan 2010, 23:46

thehemogoblin wrote:
Phoenix wrote:
thehemogoblin wrote:
Don't worry. Phoenix speaks his own personal bastardization of English... we call it Phoenglish.

I wasn't correcting him. I was just pointing out Andrea Sassetti was so unworried about team's management that I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot to buy dry tyres. So, I wasn't correcting him, just making an appreciation. And is my English so weird, dude? I don't mind getting corrected from time to time.

Phoenix,

I was just trying to make him feel more at home... I can only think of one or two posts you've ever made that I completely haven't understood. Usually, I'm just poking fun at small little mistakes you make. For a 17-year-old who hasn't ever spent time in an English-speaking country, you do a fantastic job. Hell, my mom's lived in the US for 30+ years and her English isn't that much better than yours. You're doing great. I just like to make fun of you and everyone else... (Plus, I thought my little portmanteau of Phoenix and English was crafty.)

Hahaha, feel free then! But that I have never spent time on an English-speaking country isn't true-I was in London 2 years ago with school

What it really helped me was to play GTA games, which had its cutscenes not directly translated, but subtitled. Heck, by playing GTA IV I've even learn to say cabbage in Serbian! Useful when I apply for a job at Stefan GP

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 16 Jan 2010, 23:52

Phoenix wrote:Hahaha, feel free then! But that I have never spent time on an English-speaking country isn't true-I was in London 2 years ago with school

Hey, I've been to Spain twice yet have no Spanish whatsoever. Once to Majorca in fact. Nice place.

Phoenix · Post by **Phoenix** » 16 Jan 2010, 23:53

shinji wrote:
Phoenix wrote:Hahaha, feel free then! But that I have never spent time on an English-speaking country isn't true-I was in London 2 years ago with school

Hey, I've been to Spain twice yet have no Spanish whatsoever. Once to Majorca in fact. Nice place.

Really? Where did you were?

shinji · Post by **shinji** » 16 Jan 2010, 23:55

Phoenix wrote:
shinji wrote:
Phoenix wrote:Hahaha, feel free then! But that I have never spent time on an English-speaking country isn't true-I was in London 2 years ago with school

Hey, I've been to Spain twice yet have no Spanish whatsoever. Once to Majorca in fact. Nice place.

Really? Where did you were?

*go

I was up in the north somewhere, pretty touristy but nice. It was an epic hotel and we didn't really leave it